The Sleep Training Diaries

After 4.5 months of inconsistent sleep, we met with a sleep consultant, Jean, while we were in NY last week (Thanks Peggy!). Interestingly, I babysat for Jean's daughters when I was in high school. Anyway, Jean was great (AWESOME!) and really helped us to understand that Owen needs his sleep and sleeping in 2-3 hour intervals all night long doesn't help his brain process and restore itself (nor does it help him to have sleep deprived parents). And, since Sean and I are literally falling asleep at our desks and Owen slept like a champ in NYC (6-7 hour stretches for 3 of the 4 nights we were there), we know he can do it. So, let the "sleep training" begin....

Our Plan
We decided, with Jean's help, to start on Thursday night since I don't work on Friday and can, therefore, see Owen in the morning and hold him and hug him! Our sleep plan is simple - Owen has to go to bed on his own and, when he wakes up in the middle of the night, we have to let him cry it out in 10 minute intervals. No picking him up or rocking him. Since we are worried about him getting hungry (he's never gone all night without eating!), Jean concedes that we can feed him the first time he wakes up after 3am. But then it's straight back to bed (putting him down while he's awake) until morning - which we've designated as 7am. Of course, nothing goes 100% to plan, does it?!

Night 1: 5/15
Our plan already has a hole in it - Owen was at day care today and his last nap ended at 2pm. By the time we get him home at 5:45, he's obviously exhausted. We had set his bedtime as 7pm but he won't make it. So, we do some adjusting to our plan... start bedtime at 6:30pm and designate "morning" as 6:30am. I hope Jean won't mind.

6:20pm - Owen is OUT! He was so tired that he barely had anything to eat before falling asleep. Since we had to put him in his crib awake, I didn't let him fall asleep with the bottle. Now I'm worried - can he make it until 3am? At least he falls asleep with no crying!

10:55pm - Owen's up for the first time. Crying. It's not too loud but definitely more than a whimper. The minutes pass by SO SLOWLY! He takes short (30 second) breaks between fits of medium cries but is back asleep at 11:04pm. Only 9 minutes. That wasn't TOO torturous!

1:13am - Owen's up again. Crying level: low to medium. Ten minutes pass and I'm ready to rush in to check on him but his crying has tapered off over the last few minutes so Sean and I decide to wait. No point in frustrating him even more with our presence. 1:26am - he's asleep. But here's the problem. I'm not. I'm very much awake and worried. Is he asleep for a long time, a short time? I have to pump anyway so I do that to pass time. All of a sudden it's 2:15. He'll probably be up around 3 so I don't see a point in going back to bed.

3am - Owen is still asleep so I decide to try to get some rest. It's hard to fall asleep. Now I'm convinced that O will wake up any minute. And, by getting into bed, I've disturbed Sean. We both toss and turn for about an hour.

5:08am - Owen cries. I know he's hungry (it's been almost 11 hours since he las ate) but we don't want to feed him and get him excited about starting the day yet. We set wake up time as 6:30am and we're going to stick with it. Consistency is key here. That's what Jean would tell us. Owen goes through several fits of crying ranging from whimpers to yells. At 5:23 they die down only to start again at 5:28, then 5:52. They never last more than a couple of minutes. I look at Sean. Should we just feed him now? No. 30 more minutes won't do him any harm. We decide that I'll get up and pump again so Owen can have fresh milk when we can go to him in 38 minutes. We sing a verse of "I'm so tired" by the Beatles and laugh. We're almost there!

And that's where we are now. It's 6:35am and Owen is still sleeping. He's last cry - a loud peep - was issued at 6:07am. He made it and so did we!! And, it wasn't THAT bad! I'm so proud of the little guy and I can't wait to scoop him out of bed and hug him when he wakes up! And, as I think about this night, one thought emerges in my head - I miss Owen! As hard as it is to get up every 2-3 hours to his crying, I miss being able to pick him up, even for a few short minutes at 2am, to calm him down. I miss holding him and smelling him and kissing him. The grass is always greener, isn't it? Just yesterday I was frustrated and tired when I got up for the third time of the night to "rescue" him. I didn't take it out on Owen because he's a baby but I was annoyed at Sean for not waking up to help. But, now that I can't go get him, I'm sad. I tell this to Sean who smiles. This is why we chose to start on Thursday night - because I'm home with Owen today (Friday) and can hold him and hug him all I want. YAY! Now I WANT him to wake up! :-)

Owen woke up at 7:08am. He smiled at me when I picked him up - Yay! He isn't mad!

So, Night 1 wasn't so bad. But are we out of the woods yet.... Stay tuned for Night #2.

-Marisa